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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MESSAGE KINDS GOD CONTROL YOU PERSONAL EXPERIENCE 970108 It is often helpful to recognize the kinds of messages which dominate various people's communications. It is often helpful to recognize which kinds of messages are generally absent in various people's communications. What is absent can be just as revealing as what is present. We need to beware of people whose communications are dominated by: 1. Messages from God, The Authority/Controller. 2. Messages about being in control. 3. Messages about who is good and who is evil. 4. Messages about standards of judgement. 5. Messages of condemnation and rejection. 6. Messages of self-righteousness. 7. Messages of exclusivity. We need to beware of people whose communications lack: 1. Active listening. 2. Personal presence. 3. Personal vulnerability. 4. Emotional authenticity. 5. Messages about personal experiences. 6. Self revelations. 7. Signs of personal vulnerability. Persistent patterns of such dominance and lacks within communication should serve as warning signs that there is a lack of integrity which we need to recognize and deal with openly and honestly; even if others do not recognize the patterns and/or do not deal with them openly and honestly. We need to be open and honest with those whom we can trust---and be prudent about being open and honest with people whose communications demonstrate the patterns noted above. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================