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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9605252.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISTINGUISH SUPPORT/JUDGEMENT HONEST/COLLUSIVE 960525 How are we to distinguish between authentically supportive people and judgmental people---and discern their associated patterns of behavior? Judgmental people often wear masks of respectability with which they hide their coercive and often tacitly violent patterns of behavior---which are designed to promote conformity to some standard of propriety. Authentically supportive people encourage others to be true to themselves and each other as unique people. Judgmental people are preoccupied with standard patterns of behavior and response. Authentically supportive people focus upon getting to know people as they strive to maintain their integrity in trying circumstances. Judgmental people are preoccupied with maintaining appearances---because they do not value honesty and openness. Authentically supportive people seek to respect boundaries which help to define the differences between unique people; even as they seek to transcend boundaries which block communications between unique people. Judgmental people seek to eliminate differences between unique people so as to get all people to conform to "good" standards for being respectable and so to appear to be worthy of respect. Authentically supportive people seek to facilitate true intimacy by giving free gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable in open and honest dialogue. Judgmental people seek to destroy boundaries between people in efforts to homogenize the members of their communities. Authentically supportive people invite others to temporarily cross over boundaries which have walled them off from others---to freely find out what it is like on the other side of those walls. Judgmental people imprison others in artificial human constraints. Authentically supportive people liberate others from artificial human constraints. Judgmental people isolate people in prisons. Authentically supportive people visit people in prisons to help them transcend the prisons. Judgmental people do not help people who are sick, ill, diseased or ill at ease---to honestly take good care of themselves. Authentically supportive people help others who are sick, ill, diseased and ill at ease to transcend addictions, collusions, codependencies, legalisms, and judgementalism---and so to be free and able to take good care of themselves before focusing any of their attention upon others who appear to need to be taken care of---as judgmental people so often thoughtlessly focus most of their attention upon trying to control others. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================