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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9502201.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DEFINE MARITAL FAITHFULNESS EXCLUSIVE INCLUSIVE+950220 %SELF SPOUSE OTHER OPEN HONEST INTIMATE RELATIONS+950220 %HOMOSEXUAL BISEXUAL HETEROSEXUAL EVIL TOGETHER+950220 %FRIENDSHIP ASSOCIATION DIALOGUE COMMUNICATION+950220 %INTEGRITY 950220 It makes a world of difference whether we define marital faithfulness in terms of EXCLUSIVITY or not. When marital faithfulness is defined in terms of exclusivity it is appropriate to be suspicious of: 1. An intimate friendship between a husband and another man who may be a homosexual or another woman who may be a heterosexual or bisexual person---for who is to know how far the intimacy goes and the sexual orientation of each person? 2. An intimate friendship between a wife and another woman who may be a lesbian or another man who may be a heterosexual or bisexual person---for who is to know how far the intimacy goes and the sexual orientation of each? 3. A couple who have an intimate friend who is heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual---for who is to know how far the intimacy goes and the sexual orientation of each? 4. A couple who have as intimate friends another couple, possibly including heterosexuals, bisexuals or homosexuals---for who is to know how far the intimacy goes and the sexual orientation of each? Defining marital fidelity in terms of exclusivity invites and encourages suspicion, secrecy, deception and dishonesty---and so promotes both personal and communal disintegration. People who are insecure and defensive are prone to combine a definition of marital fidelity with yearnings for perfection and control in the fulfillment of the ideal forms of such a definition---and so they seek to encourage Platonic relationships; rather than sexual relationships. They are likely to be dishonest about the nature of their desires, yearnings and efforts---and try to swim up the river of life and death, rather than seek to enjoy their times together with other open and honest intimate people. We clearly need to define marital fidelity in terms other than in terms of exclusivity, control and perfection. We need to define marital fidelity in terms which will promote both personal and communal integrity; in terms of openness, honesty, gentleness, mutuality, balance, inclusivity, health, wholeness, humility, justice, fairness and similar virtues which are not as prone to lead to disintegration as are exclusivity, control and perfection. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================