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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9412082.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHANGE RELATION PERSON BODY CONTEXT ENVIRONMENT+941208 %CONTROL CAUSE ELEMENT CONFORM IDEAL IMAGE VISION 941208 We are prone to want to preserve personal relationships which we find to our liking, to "freeze" them in time. We may want to return a changed relationship to an earlier moment in time to which we look back with nostalgia. We may envision a past relationship with an ideal partner as taking a different turn and achieving some ideal state or stage, and seek to work to achieve that state or stage. We often find it difficult to deal with our changing personal relationships, wondering why they change when we wish they would not change; wondering why they do not move toward the dream-ideal toward which we wish they would hasten. Personal relationships are reflexive realities; not objective realities. Personal relationships cannot be planned, managed or controlled as can some patterns in the behaviors of impersonal objects which have neither mind or will of their own. It is the essence of personal relationships to be changing, growing, evolving, or disintegrating. Personal relationships are not permanent realities; even if we try very hard to pretend that they are. Personal relationships change because we develop individually through various physiological stages of maturation. Personal relationships change because of the events which occur in our lives---relationships depend upon our histories as well as upon our visions, dreams, desires and intentions. Personal relationships change because of changes in our physical, personal, social, religious, educational, economic, business and communal environments. It is impossible to prevent change in a changing environment. It is disintegrative to pretend that we can prevent change, or have avoided change, in a changing environment. We need to seek to understand what contributes to healthy integrative developments in our personal relationships, and what else contributes to unhealthy disintegrative developments in our personal relationships. We need to recognize name, describe and talk about what promotes sudden catastrophic changes---which are often, but not always, destructive; and what promotes gradual changes which may be either constructive or destructive, conscious or unconscious, intentional or unintentional. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================