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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9312161.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TENSION DEFENSE SECURITY VULNERABILITY LETTING GO+931216 %SACRIFICE PERSONAL SAFETY COMMUNAL INTEGRITY LOVE+931216 %BALANCE PRUDENT CAUTION RISK TRUST HONESTY SEXUAL 931216 One of the most basic tensions in human existence pertains to maintaining balance between seeking personal security and survival by prudently avoiding excessively risky situations---and seeking both communal and personal integrity by prudently taking risks in integrative intimate personal relationships. This basic tension is rooted in the evolution of sexual reproduction through which the DNA of organisms survives only by organisms taking the risks which are entailed in sexual union. If we imprudently do not take enough prudent risks all that is incarnated in us will die with us, because it will not become integrated in others through our intimate relationships with others. If we imprudently take excessive risks all that is incarnated in us will die with us because we will not survive to be intimate with others in secure relationships of mutual vulnerability and safety. Intimacy is risky because in intimate relationships we are vulnerable and may be taken advantage of by someone who is not worthy of respect and trust. It is not always possible to tell who is worthy or respect and trust, and who is not. It is often necessary to elicit trust by trusting someone who is not entirely trustworthy. Trust grows when people demonstrate trust which is not based on defensive computations. Trust disintegrates when trust is withheld except in situations where there is clear evidence and proof of respectability and truth worthiness. Security is the freedom to be safely vulnerable; the freedom to trust others in risky situations. Security is a gift offered and accepted in trust, not an achievement which results from skeptical, cynical and defensive approaches to risky situations. Trust grows when people demonstrate trust which is not based on defensive computations. Trust disintegrates when trust is withheld except in situations where there is clear evidence and proof of respectability and truth worthiness. Wise people know how to grow trust. Defensive people undermine trust. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================