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  %LOVE PRESENCE ABSENCE BEHAVIOR LACK MISS NEGLECT 931111

     Love is characterized by both positive actions and by
the  absence of negative actions.   We tend to focus  upon
the necessity of positive actions.   It is not only  overt
actions  which  need to be focused upon;  it is  also  the
roots of actions which need to be focused upon: attitudes,
assumptions, beliefs, convictions, values, ideals, etc.

     In  true  love no essential attitudes,   assumptions,
beliefs,  convictions,  values, or ideals are systemically
neglected,   excluded  or  repressed.   True love  may  be
characterized  as  much  by  what  is  not  systematically
neglected,  excluded or repressed;  as by the presence  of
some  highly desirable actions,  attitudes,   assumptions,
beliefs,  convictions, values, and ideals.   A  failure to
consider  possible  absences may be a fatal failure.    No
limited set of positive actions can prove the presence  of
true love.   Beware if any person claims that some limited
set of positive actions  proves the presence of true love.
There  may  be some essential elements of true love  which
are  absent  and have not been considered in  making  that
claim.  To prove true love is not simple.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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