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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LOVE NEED DESIRE RAPE CONTROL MANIPULATE COVET+930816 %WANT LUST CONTROL MANAGE ADMINISTER OWN OBJECT 930816 The word "love" is used much, and much abused. It points to much which is highly valued, but too rarely are efforts made to clarify what it is that is highly to be valued; and what it is that is associated with the word "love" which is disintegrative of people and their communities. When somebody says "I love you" it may mean: "I want you" "I need you" "I desire you" "I control you" "I manipulate you" "I own you" "I covet you" "You belong to me" "I lust for you" "I worship you" Such meanings are not worthy of respect. "Love" may point to what people do to each other, as to objects. The object of "love" may be a person treated as an object. The meaning of the statement "I love you" might grammatically be parallel to the statement "I hit you." "You" points to an object to which "I" does something. Such a relationship does not merit our respect or support. In healthy intimate relationships where the spirit of love is truly present people don't do things to each other; they cooperate in relationships with each other. In such relationships people are created by the cooperative relationship as much as they are creators of the relationship. In such relationships "I love you" points to the cooperative ventures in which the participants are present to and with each other. The affirmation points to a desire to nurture the relationship through cooperative ventures, dialogue, listening, and presence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================