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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9305102.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %IMPOSSIBLE COPE WISELY DENIED UNREALITY DISHONEST+930510 %SEX SHAME GUILT CONTROL MANAGE DISCIPLINE RULE 930510 It is virtually impossible for us to cope wisely with any reality which our communities and we deny is real, possible, experienced, desired, enjoyed, envisioned, fantasized, or otherwise important to us. When through our collusions we approach our coping with any reality in such a dishonest way, we then cannot cope wisely with such a taboo reality. Dishonesty is not a solid foundation for coping wisely with any reality of any kind. This is especially so for systemic dishonesty in the form of communal collusive games of mutual self deception. When society becomes an addict, and addictive organizations dominate our communities, we are unable to cope with taboo realities which are repressed, obscured, denied, hidden, confused, and otherwise made to appear other than they really are. There are many taboo realities: 1. Parental flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections; e.g., alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, workaholism, perfectionism, violent abuse, passive abuse, neglect, frozen emotions, etc. 2. Flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections within our religious leaders and institutions; e.g., as suggested above. 3. Flaws, weaknesses, and imperfections within our educational, political, and business leaders and institutions; e.g., as suggested above. 4. Mistakes, errors, tragedies, and limitations which our collusions, addictions, and codependents do not permit us to acknowledge and learn from. 5. Doubts, anxieties and fears about religious teachings, scriptures and doctrines which our religious leaders do not set us free to talk about and listen to. 6. Sexual desires, needs, fantasies, experiences, visions, relationships and inhibitions which our parents, friends, lovers, teachers, religious leaders, and political leaders encourage us to keep hidden, out of view, repressed, denied, and otherwise subjected to the silent treatment. 7. Hopes, aspirations and acts of faith which we are encouraged to give the silent treatment because they are improper, impossible, imprudent, not called for, or indecent. 8. Aspects of our unique selves which are not called for, required, prescribed, or provided for---and so are regarded as not permitted, improper, forbidden, taboo, and to be hidden from self and others. Such aspects include visions, fantasies, emotions, desires, experiences, hopes, aspirations, etc. 9. Insights and creative visions which would threaten the dominant paradigm and associated collusions if revealed. 10. Others which may be unique to particular individuals. We cannot enjoy personal and communal integrity so long as we cannot be honest for reasons pointed to above. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================