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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9303205.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ULTIMATE EXCLUDE IDEAL VALUE ABUSE CORRUPT ADDICT+930320 %IMPORTANT PRIORITY BALANCE VULNERABLE SECURE LOVE 930320 To the extent that any one ideal or value is treated as being of ultimate importance, to the exclusion of other balancing ideals and values; to that extent the ultimate ideal or value is made vulnerable to abuse and corruption. If honesty is made of ultimate importance so every person is commanded to be honest; the manipulators who do so are put in a position to punish any deception which is designed to subvert their manipulative violence. If generosity is made of ultimate importance; then addicts are put in a favorable position to milk codependents of all their assets. If meekness is made of ultimate importance; then assertive people may demand that good people lay down and serve as carpets for the arrogant people who are dishonest. If integrity is made of ultimate importance; then the manipulators will equate integrity with conformity and demand conformity. If conformity is made of ultimate importance as a prerequisite to personal acceptance; then creativity, imagination, spontaneity, dreaming, envisioning, and authenticity must be repressed in the service of conformity. If peace is made of ultimate importance; then manipulators are in a position to demand submission on the part of those who would stand in the way of abusive manipulations. If balance is regarded as of ultimate importance; then manipulators are prone to oppose any affirmation of any value which will stand in their way: they will make manipulative affirmations of a counter-balancing complimentary value, and claim that the original affirmation must yield. If loyalty is regarded as of ultimate importance; then addicts are sure to demand ultimate loyalty of their subjects in dictatorial patterns of behavior. When any ideal or value is regarded as of ultimate importance to the exclusion of any other balancing value or ideal; manipulators find ways to manipulate the meaning and practical import of the ideal and value, so that the ultimately important ideal or value becomes a means/tool of their manipulative intentions. Some ideals and values are more vulnerable to abuse than others; e.g., conformity as an ultimate ideal/value is more vulnerable to abuse than is balance. Loyalty as an ultimate ideal/value is more vulnerable to abuse than is integrity. We need to learn how to recognize, describe and talk about the multitude of ways in which important ideals and values become vulnerable to abuse, when their importances are affirmed in exclusive ways; and we need to recognize which ideals and values are more vulnerable to abuse than are other ideals and values. Only with such recognitions, descriptions, and conversations vibrantly present within a community can the community as a whole defend itself against the disintegrative consequences of its most manipulative members' use and abuse of healthy affirmations of the importance of various patterns of integrative ideals and values. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================