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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9303203.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %REJECT ACCEPT CONFORM STANDARD SYSTEM JUDGE LOVE 930320 Healthy personal lives and patterns of relationships include a healthy variety of foci, activities, changes, growth and spontaneous transformations. They are characterized more by inclusivity than by exclusivity. They are regarded as desirable because they are growing, developing, changing, spontaneous, creative, inter- connected, integrative and balanced. None of them are held up as inherently and/or exclusively better than others because of how they conform to some unchanging set of prescriptions and/or proscriptions. None of the people who embody them are rejected/accepted because they do/not conform to some unchanging set of prescriptions and/or proscriptions. Unhealthy personal lives and patterns of relationships are often unchanging, prescribed, chosen and/or accidental routines or sets of habits which are regarded as inherently better than some other routines or set of habits. They are regarded as appropriately unchanging because they are better; or better because they are unchanging. Some unhealthy people and relationships that embody what are regarded as the better proscriptions and/or prescriptions are regarded as more acceptable--- because of how they do conform to a better set of unchanging proscriptions and/or prescriptions. Many healthy people who do not conform in any such way are regarded as rejectable for that reason. Unhealthy disintegrating people often view healthy integrative people with disdain and arrogance. Healthy integrative people rarely regard unhealthy people with disdain and/or arrogance. Unhealthy disintegrating people are often stuck in a spiral of disintegative change which they deny is real. Healthy integrative people are often willingly and willfully participating in integrative change which they affirm as real and healthy. Unhealthy disintegrating people are often compulsively focused upon fixes by which they seek to make themselves or others to become/appear acceptable through defensive manipulations. Healthy integrative people regularly accept other people into open and honest dialogue through gifts of security and vulnerability. Unhealthy disintegrative people are often trying to achieve and keep a static state of perfection; or trying to define what such a static state of perfection would be like. Healthy integrative people travel through life in ways which enable them to be in constant dialogue, conversation, connection, communication with people who are changing, spontaneous, responsive, different and/or in conflict with them. The differences between unhealthy people and healthy people may be traced to differences between the ideals and values which they respect and embody or condemn and reject. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================