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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9303141.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PERCEIVE DEFINE THREAT INTEGRITY COLLUSION TRUTH+930314 %CONTROL JOY LOVE PLEASURE SALVATION REDEEM TRUE+930314 %SEEK DESIRE WANT TELL SAY TALK ASK SHOW GET TAKE 930314 We cannot control our own or other people's joys, loves, pleasures, salvations, redemptions, truths, seeking, desires, wants, telling, sayings, talking, asking, and showing. When we think and feel that we are in in full control we deceive ourselves and each other in our collusive games of mutual self deception. We are not just objects which can meaningfully be treated in exclusively objective ways by ourselves and each other. If we attempt to treat ourselves in exclusively objective ways, then we deceive ourselves into believing we can be reflexively objective; an oxymoron if there ever was one! That is about as possible as drinking only completely dry real water. We are playing collusive games of self deception when we show respect for rules, regulations, laws, taboos, moral codes, prohibitions, injunctions, punishments, and reward systems designed to control our own and other people's joys, loves, pleasures, salvations, redemptions, truths, seeking, desires, wants, telling, sayings, talking, asking, and showing. By adopting a control mentality we make it very difficult for us to helpfully influence people's behaviors towards integrative personal and communal behaviors. Attempting to influence people is quite different from attempting to control people. It is important that we learn the difference and respect the difference. We may in part control objects through objective manipulative procedures. We cannot control people through objective manipulative procedures; even when it appears to us that we are controlling their behaviors. We purchase the appearance of our control of them at the price of our knowledge of them. The appearance of our control of them is a creation of our collusive games of mutual self deception. The appearance is not real outside of us. The appearance is not an objective reality which is real to the people whom we think we are controlling. We are not controlling all of their thoughts, feelings and intentions towards us; not even when they may feel that we are. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================