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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9301133.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SECURE STATIC IDENTITY GROW PROCESS CONTROL 930113 Many people feel far more secure with a static identity or condition; than they do with a growing/changing condition or process. It is threatening to them to consider their personal identity to be changing, rather than fixed. Who they are---should be a permanent reality, fixed; as one of their addictive fixes for dealing with their essential insecurity which is rooted in an insecure childhood. It is essentially impossible for us to maintain a fixed identity while we and those around us are growing older, changing physiologically and relationally. Who we are is largely dependent upon how we have related to those who are around us. Those who are around us are changing through changing relationships, births, deaths, aging, etc. We cannot stop such changes; we can only relate to them in growing ways. If we respond to changing conditions in fixed ways which do not relate to the changes; our responses are bound to be inappropriate and in effective. Some people are more comfortable with static conditions and identities than changing ones; because static conditions and identities are more easily "controlled" than are changing ones---at least the appearance of "control" is easier to maintain. Thus manipulative people encourage us to adopt fixed identities so that they can manipulate us. Healthy growth cannot be controlled. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================