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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9111052.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RELIABLE PEOPLE TRUST VIOLENCE EXPECTATION HEALTHY 911105 We regard as reliable, people who fulfill our expectations. We regard as unreliable, people who fail to fulfill our expectations. Yet, reliability in the sense of fulfilling our expectations is not a sure ground for trusting other people. Our expectations may not be healthy. People who fulfill unhealthy expectations are not worthy of careless trust. Our expectations may be manipulative, dishonest, misguided, collusive, addictive, codependent and in other ways unhealthy expectations. We need to be careful not to use our expectations as a sure guide to the integrity of other people's behaviors. When people fail to fulfill our expectations we need to entertain the possibility that our expectations may not have been healthy, reasonable, appropriate, well informed, clear, etc. In communities which are behaving in the manner of addicts and codependents, unhealthy expectations are some of the tools by which members of the community manipulate, coerce and violate each other. Not all violence is obviously physical, psychological, or economic. Much violence is hidden from the view of both the perpetuators and the victims of the violence. This is particularly true as regards having and respecting unhealthy expectations. It is dangerous to raise reliability to the level of a sure test of personal integrity. There is a real need to carefully examine and see how healthy are the expectations in terms of which reliability is measured. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================