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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9009141.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACCEPT CONTROL GIFT ENJOY PLEASURE AVOID AVOIDANCE 900914 It is difficult for the addict to truly accept a gift, for the addict wants to control the significance and meaning of the gift. To truly accept a gift involved accepting the truth that one is not in full control; and so acceptance involves honesty about one's own limitations. Addicts believe that they can be and must be in full control to be acceptable, and so they cannot truly accept any authentic gifts---for such acceptance would involve changing away from their belief that they can be and must be in full control, and away from the belief that they can be and must be perfect and complete in and of themselves. The perfect and complete person would lack nothing and have no need of any gift: thus to truly accept a gift is to acknowledge one is not perfect or complete. This the addict cannot do, and fears to consider doing it. Addicts seek to avoid that which they fear because of their beliefs regarding: being in control, being honest, being manipulative, being successful, being achievers, being independent, being worthy, being perfect, being acceptable. (Being themselves is not sensible to addicts.) Addicts do not know how to avoid such unhealthy avoidance; or how to avoid unhealthy: attitudes, company, friends, lovers, role models, mentors, teachers, professors, etc. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================