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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9004092.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PRINCIPLED LIMITED RESPONSIBILITY RESCUE ADDICT 900409 It is important that there be in each community some reasonably common understanding of the limitations upon the responsibilities of members of the community. In the absence of such an understanding there are some common mistakes which are likely to be made. Some people will assume/arrogate responsibilities which they should not have, and they assume/arrogate corresponding authority and powers. They become unwelcome authority figures and in the extreme become dictators. At less extreme levels they act as paternalistic managers of other people's lives and engender much resentment, anger, and subtle forms of violence. Such arrogant people are commonly not respected. Other people who are respected may accept more responsibilities than they can fulfill, and accept more authority and power than they can handle properly. They may not appear to seek such responsibility, authority and power; but they nevertheless seem to gather it as a magnet gathers iron filings. They often become the movers and shakers of the community, but are overworked and serve as examples to others of their own kind of excesses. Some parents assume too many responsibilities to care for, rescue and control their children; having no principles by which to recognize the appropriate limits to their responsibilities. Their children do not learn how to take care of themselves, because their parents are spending all their time taking care, of the children; and trying to control their destiny. The children often end up resenting the control and care and respond in rebellious ways which involve collusive games of mutual manipulation between parents and children. In such settings the next generation as children do not learn how to recognize appropriate limits upon responsibility; and they acquire attitudes and habits of spirit which lead them as adults to attempt to fulfill more responsibilities that is humanly possible for them to fulfill. They are likely to go to greater extremes than did their parent, and so reveal the nature of the seeds planted by their parents, as mature forms of addiction and codependence grow in their lives, and in the lives of their children in turn. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================