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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8905152.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HARMFUL DISINTEGRATIVE GIFTS HELP ENCOURAGEMENT 890515 Gifts can encourage people to behave in ways which are not helpful, and are instead disintegrative. People who do not take proper care of themselves often become dependent upon others who give compensatory gifts to help the irresponsible people to survive without honestly learning the lessons to be learned from their mistakes. In the absence of an honest and charitable confrontation regarding their failure to learn from their own mistakes, compensatory gifts are more likely to be harmful than helpful. People need to be left free to learn from their own mistakes, and need to be encouraged to be open and honest about their own mistakes and the experiences which flow from their having made mistakes. Pretending that mistakes have not been made makes it impossible to learn from them. It is not helpful to encourage people to pretend that they have not made mistakes so as to appear perfect and acceptable. It is harmful to encourage people to try to be more perfect than is possible for them to be. Such encouragement leads them to pretend to be more perfect and free of mistakes than they are, and to pretend that they do not make mistakes, so they do not learn from their mistakes. Giving such people help to compensate for their failure to be open and honest about their mistakes does not help them to learn from their mistakes. Such giving may be dishonest compensation for the communal mistake of teaching them to try to be perfect. People should be taught to learn from their mistakes. People should not be taught to try to be perfect. Only fools think that they can be perfect or become perfect. Wise people are open and honest about their own mistakes and what they have learned from their own mistakes. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================