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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FREEDOM COMPULSION DENY OTHERS AFFIRMATIONS 890426 Jack feels compelled to deny other persons' affirmations because he fears that if other persons' affirmations are perceived as meriting respect, it will necessarily follow that his affirmations could not possibly be perceived as meriting respect. Jack believes that affirmations are mutually exclusive. Getting affirmations respected is a competitive either-or-situation. Jack has enemies because he believes that for his affirmations to merit respect it is necessary that other persons' affirmations not merit respect. Jack can not conceive of the possibility of people's affirmations being mutually complementary. Both teams in a competition can not win the game; one team must lose for the other team to win. How could it be otherwise? To Jack gaining respect for personal affirmations is a competitive game. Jack feels that the only way he can earn self respect is to win in the competition to gain others' respect for his affirmations. To Jack this means that all other people must lose, for him to win; there can be only one winner in a competition. It is impossible for it to be otherwise! Jack is insecure as a loser. Jack feels that his security will be sure when he is the only winner in the competition for respect towards his affirmations. Jack can not feel secure unless he is the one winner who is in total control, exercising unlimited power. To feel secure Jack feels he must have unlimited power. There are many Jack's in the world, and they are all in competition with each other to exercise unlimited power as the means to winning for themselves the security which they covet. They all feel insecure so long as they are less than the single winner in each competition. Jack does not know or understand the nature of true security. Security entails freedom from the compulsion to deny other people's affirmations; freedom from the competitive compulsion to be the author of the only affirmations regarded as worthy of respect. So long as Jack believes that he cannot be secure until he has unlimited power, so long others will not be secure in Jack's presence. It is important to give Jack the true security which he needs to have, in order that he may be freed from the compulsion to deny other people's affirmations. Only as we give each other true security can we enjoy true security ourselves. We cannot achieve true security for ourselves without giving it as a gift to our enemies. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================