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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8811111.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SAY YES WITH INTEGRITY BEING WHOLE IN COMMUNITY 881111 Saying "yes" with integrity to one's participating in being and doing is an essential aspect of being whole in a coherent community with integrity. It is essential that "yes" be said by self and others in community and in self. Fragmented participation involves fragmented selves and others saying both "yes" and "no" to their participation in being and doing. Fragmented selves do not know themselves or others in their being who they are, and do not say "YES" to who they know themselves to be. They are torn in their efforts to pass judgement upon who they are and what they do. They cannot say "YES" with their whole being. They are preoccupied with acquiring conformal self esteem rather than with being whole together. Authentic self esteem is not a possession which can be owned, it is a gift which is given. Self esteem cannot be acquired, it is received as a gift. Self esteem cannot be earned, it is given. Self esteem cannot be merited, it is given without conditions. Self esteem is not a thing, it is a way of being whole in a whole community. People who lack self esteem often seek to substitute for authentic self esteem by acquiring possessions to own, control, give, receive, and merit. Their efforts do not satisfy in a meaningful way. There is pleasure in the giving and receiving of self esteem which can not be controlled. There is little pleasure in acquiring and owning things which can be controlled. We can with integrity say "YES" to the pleasure which is one with giving and receiving self esteem. We cannot with integrity say yes to the pleasure which is sought in the acquisition and owning of things which can be controlled. To all say "YES" with integrity to communal sharing of self esteem is to be a community with integrity. To strive for the perverted pleasures of acquisition, ownership, control, and barter leads to personal and communal disintegration. To say "NO" judgmentally to efforts to gain pleasure through acquisition, ownership, control and barter is part of an effort to acquire self esteem through comparison of self with others. Comparisons which make self look good to self, and others to look bad to self, are disintegrative comparisons. One cannot with integrity say "YES" to such comparisons because they are disintegrative comparisons. Often the comparisons of ethics, morality, legalism, etiquette, propriety, and diplomacy are made for the purpose of looking good to self and others without saying "YES" with integrity to others as whole people. Such comparison are not the essence of being whole, and are not essential to being whole. Such comparisons are often aspects of the disintegrative processes of people who do not give self esteem by saying "YES" with integrity to each other's being who they are. They are disintegrating while trying to conform to artificial human conceptions, rather being whole in the realization of who they are with integrity. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================