blog traffic analysis
This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %UNBALANCED DISTINCTIONS 860422 People who are starved for affection because they receive little affection are prone to attempt to be distinctive and attract attention to themselves. It is easier to be distinctive by being different in unbalanced ways than by being different in balanced ways. There are more easy ways to be different in unbalanced ways, than there are easy ways to be different in balanced ways. In the absence of energy and creative imagination, people tend toward behaviors characteristic of the large number of easy ways of being different; rather than toward behavior which is characteristic of the small number of balanced ways of being different. We may be different by being unbalanced through exclusivity. Social clubs, stores, homes, schools, etc. often seek to be different by whom they exclude. They achieve distinction at the expense of balance. Exclusivity as a means to distinction leads to imbalance and insecurity which feeds back insecurity and lack of affection, which motivate people to try to be distinctive. Exclusivity may put on the mask of righteousness "earned" by avoiding "evil" behavior which is defined in terms of taboos, prohibitions, expectations, requirements, etc. In such a view the righteous people are those who do not do prohibited acts. The most righteous and distinctive people are those most successful in specified inaction. Through efforts toward inaction there is a tendency to exclude acts which might be regarded as too much like those which are taboo---leading to the exclusion of needful behavior which might be mistaken for taboo behavior---and so leading to imbalance. The distinction of extreme behavior is more notable than the distinction of creative balance. The fastest, biggest, smallest, etc. tends to get more attention than the most coherent, integrative, complete, whole, etc. That which is distinctive by being extreme gets attention. People who are starved for attention therefore tend to go to extremes, rather than to seek balance. Starving people by withholding affection tends to drive them to unbalanced extremes which are disintegrative. Withholding affection as punishment for misbehavior is not an integrative way of dealing with human relational dilemmas. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================